Archive for the Technology Category

The Missing Coffee Cups…

Posted in Funny, Personal, Technology on December 11, 2006 by FenderBender

This is a follow-up to my previous post about some ridiculous company policies. Here’s one more that takes the cake (or coffee??).

A few months ago, coffee vending machines were installed at our workplace to provide free coffee/tea to employees. In an “unrelated” incident, a week or two ago, small, pathetic looking cups with our company logo were distributed to all employees. Last week, a rude surprize awaited us as the plastic, disposable cups next to the vending machines suddenly disappeared, never to reappear again.

After asking the administrative department, we realized that the “unrelated” incident was not so unrelated after all. The new “protocol” was that employees were supposed to take their own cups to the vending machines, have their coffee and then wash their own cups during working hours and then enjoy (yeah right!!) another cup of coffee later on. Maybe its part of their training for employees who have to travel abroad on deputation and suddenly find themselves having to learn to wash their own plates and cups.

If you are familiar with or have ever had any experience of village life or life in chawls in Mumbai, then the above scene of an employee carrying his own cup to the vending machine …. is similar to carrying a tumbler of water to the common restroom, doing your thing and returning with an empty tumbler! Damn!! We are really living in a high-tech society aren’t we?

Surviving Taliban

Posted in Funny, Personal, Technology on October 18, 2006 by FenderBender

No, I don’t live in Afghanistan or anywhere close to a nation run by religious fanatics. In fact I live in Mumbai, a city that’s as cosmopolitan as they come. But even in this crowded city, in one small corner of a bustling suburb, there is a place whose policies are inspired directly by Taliban. That place is my workplace!

I work in an IT company, that too in one of the most technologically challenging and fast growing domains. And like almost all of us in the IT industry, I cannot survive without trolling various technology forums to keep myself updated with the latest developments.

You must be wondering by now that how does this in anyway relate to Taliban?

Well, I like challenges and my company does its best to keep throwing new challenges at me. Here’s how they do it:

  1. You cannot send/receive mails to/from yahoo, hotmail, gmail and a gazillion such mail programs from/to my work email. Brilliant I must say! It doesn’t sound that bad right now, but remember this point for later reference.
  2. Came to work last week and saw my colleagues discussing something. I thought it must be some client issue. But what do you know? The USB ports on their work machines had been disabled! What the fuck? The hardware team had raided our machines overnight and blocked the ports. Great! So I can’t transfer the documents I had laid my hands on while surfing at home.
  3. I don’t have any internet access from work! Holy shit! I pinched myself enough to bruise both my forearms. The last time I checked, I was working in IT and I DON’T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS? Oh wait! I’m sorry, I have limited internet access. I can open Google and Yahoo and any search engine you can think of. Cool! I enter a search term…and wait. FUCK! I can’t open any of the result links. So what do I do with Google and Yahoo? Stare at the screen and wonder what theme Google will have on the next major holiday?
  4. Now let’s combine points 1, 2 & 3. I cannot mail any interesting thing I found while trolling the tech forums from home to my work email. I cannot copy it onto my pen-drive and transfer it to my work PC since the USB is disabled. I cannot access those forums from work as we don’t have internet access.

And then I’ll have my seniors telling me during my appraisals that I do not contribute towards knowledge sharing!

Apart from this, we also have a dress code. Employees are supposed to dress in appropriate business attire. No jeans or t-shirts. Now who the hell decides “appropriate”? Is a bright orange or flourescent green shirt acceptable over my dark blue polo t-shirt from Gap just because it’s a shirt? Is a black belt worn with brown formal shoes acceptable? Since when did corduroy become formal wear?

I won’t be surprized if in due they time block guys and girls from emailing each other! Forget that…they might just shutdown emailing altogether. You have to write letters, then take a dozen permissions before you can affix a stamp and mail the letter to the client to report bugs or status. They will have a team to open and read all communication travelling back and forth from the employee to the client. For all you know, the employees will be given huge books and pens or blackboards and chalks to do their daily work. No PCs! Naa rahegi baans, naa bajegi baansuri!

Phew! Are those American troops that I see caught in the traffic jam headed towards my workplace?

10 Reasons why you should leave work at 6:00p.m

Posted in Funny, General, Life, Personal, Technology on October 11, 2006 by FenderBender

I got this in my mail a couple of days back. I found it quite funny as well as insightful and above all, very true (especially point 5)! Here you go:

1. Employment letter stated that working hours finish at 6:00p.m

2. Work is a never-ending process. Even if you stay back till next morning, you will never finish it.

3. Humans are not robots. Even robots/machines need rest to prevent a breakdown.

4. You love your career, but your family is even more important in your life.

5. If you fail in your life, your boss is not going to be the one who gives you a helping hand whereas your family will definitely offer help.

6. You do not want to screw up or make your life miserable because of your job.

7. Monthly salary = Work from 9:00a.m – 6:00p.m

If 6:30p.m = $0.00 + 0 bonus + 0 appreciation + bad health + bad social life + poor family relationship

That equals to: Unproductive employee + performance drop + company reputation drop + increase in retrenchment rate + increase in resignation rate

8. If any person disagrees with the above formulation, we think he/she is a LOSER who has no life, is heartless, doomed, workaholic, etc. He/She deserves the “Best Employee of the Year” award!

9. You don’t give a damn if your boss fires you.

10. For the chinese, remember this “If the house in the East no longer keeps you, then just move to the West house” (apparently in Cantonese its stated as – “Dong Ka Umm Da, Da Sai Ka!”)

The Indian IT industry: A Bubble waiting to burst?

Posted in Technology on August 8, 2006 by FenderBender

Disclaimer: This is an article that I received in an email. I don’t know who the real author is, but the views were laid out in an impressive manner and I had to put it out for all of you to read. I would definitely like to give all credit to the original author and if you happen to know who it is, then do let me know.

It’s a topic that has been oft debated – that India’s tech industry is a lot like the Chinese manufacturing phenomenon – Low cost, reasonable quality, minimal innovation. I was an employee of a huge IT company in India and have, in the two years in their employment, developed certain opinions and concerns about the direction of India’s IT revolution.

Here’s how Indian IT companies operate. Hire engineers in bulk, never mind that they are not computer scientists or electrical engineers – if they can write a few lines of code in C/C++ and are academically decent, they’re hired. After all, they don’t need brilliant engineers – just people who will do as they are told and reasonably intelligent enough to get the client’s work done, and bullshit their way out of it if they don’t. They’ll rarely make CAD software for Electrical engineering or mechanical engineering.

Instead they will develop “end to end solutions” for banking, finance, inventory management, website development, etc. By develop I mean code, not design – there is a huge difference between the two, something which I will touch upon shortly. One important thing to note is that the HR in most IT companies doesn’t give a damn about individual interests. They will put you wherever they need someone to slog for them. I’ve had one HR person tell me that they will put me in a project where they get maximum money, regardless if I am interested or not. And they wonder why so many people leave!!!

What is the nature of the work? At least 70% of the international projects in most Indian IT companies are maintenance – i.e. someone else has already developed an application. All you need to do is add more features/change behavior as per client’s request. Then there’s production support, which is worse. It is almost call-center work – ensure that the application runs normally and if it fails, get it up and running ASAP. Take calls from the client, update on the status. In a sense, like a car mechanic – I didn’t get an engineering degree to be a car mechanic – I got it to design the car!

Finally, if you are lucky you get development – write code. But then, writing code is easy – it is like manufacturing a car. What is not, is designing a system that works efficiently. Typically, foreign clients get the design done by the likes of Accenture, IBM, etc. The designs are then sent to desi companies, who actually do the coding at a cost much cheaper than IBM or Accenture. Thus, all we do is donkey work. It is not technology, it is programming. Technology is a new idea, paradigm or design, programming is implementing that design. Thus, most of the people in IT waste their engineering degrees, doing mundane programming, until they are made project managers – after which they spend their lives approving timesheets, conducting appraisals and sucking up to the client. Wait a second – shouldn’t an experienced IT professional be doing advanced stuff and leave the bullshitting to MBAs?

Why is it so hard for desi companies to do design? They’ve not tried hard enough (yet) to get into this space. They just don’t have the competence to get the job done. Desi companies are amazing at procedure oriented projects. If there is a procedure in place telling us what to do, we can do it. They don’t have the experience (and therefore the brand equity) to attract IT consulting projects. Consulting is largely a reputation driven business. In order to build such a reputation, desi companies need to hire high-flying consultants – they don’t come cheap. Even after all this, there is no guarantee of results! How many software products come out of Indian companies? IFlex is the only company to have a product successful worldwide. Making products is expensive and again, there is no guarantee of success – why risk it when services give me an assured income?

Why do we need to get into high-end IT consulting and products? Simply because the algorithm of low cost, low margin services will run its course in the future. As pay scales rise in India and the rupee appreciating with respect to the dollar, margins become more and more slim. In time, India may not be as competitive as say Brazil or Russia – the American companies will take their projects out there! You can see trends in the manufacturing sector – earlier Taiwan was the manufacturing base for American companies, then South Korea and then these days, China. For too long have we been stuck in the procedure oriented IT services. It is time to invest in consulting and products, and take Indian IT to the next level, or else I fear we will remain stuck in this low end nonsense.

Indian companies thus have 2 choices – identify and set shop in countries where the low cost, low margin algorithm can be applied or enter into high-end IT, which is independent of geography. I believe the latter is the better route. It is a high margin business and reasonably high tech. What is even better, is coming up with technology – like Java, efficient databases, advanced operating systems (Like Sun, Oracle or Microsoft). That is real tech. It’s not that we can’t do it. It’s just that we don’t want to risk it. But, nothing venture, nothing have! Desi companies don’t even do proper R&D!

Finally, here’s a true story. Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Corporation (TSMC) was huge in the chip manufacturing industry, making almost 60% profits. T hey could have got into chip design, and potentially, designed low cost chips. However, design is a risky business – what if the chip bombs? TSMC chose to stick to its core competence – fabrication. In time, TSMC’s profits have declined to 20% or so. They’re still number one, but don’t make as much money as they used to.

ARE WE LEARNING YET?